DAY ONE: AFTERNOON (IV) – James

James: Hi Magnes. I’d like to ask you about the second part of the title of this seminar, which is “Do it your way.”

MAGNES JACK: I was wondering when someone would notice that.

James: Well, I know you mentioned, “Feel the fear and do it anyway”, and this theme has a very different emphasis. Could you say a little about this please?

MAGNES JACK: Sure James – thank you for the question. But let’s open this up first. What do you suppose is meant by “do it your way?”

Mary: Well, what comes to mind is that who else’s way could it be?

MAGNES JACK: That is technically true. We are doing it ourselves, but is it our way?

Mary: Hmmm. I see what you mean. I suppose I might think it’s my way, but actually I’m following some proscribed way, perhaps deferring to what others think I should do.

MAGNES JACK: Well, that is certainly true for a lot of people. We believe we are doing our own thing, but actually, we get to sixty before we realise that our whole life has been spent trying to please our father, or something like that.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Geoff: Are you saying that we must be careful not to ignore our own instincts in this?

MAGNES JACK: That’s important too. To listen to our feelings on the matter, for sure.

There are different aspects to this, but the one I want to focus on is that there is no rulebook that says you must do it this way or that. We are often paralysed by the thought of what other people will think, or what did other people do.

And, of course, we can learn from others, but we are each our own unique and funny creature. Each of us is different and brings something quite specific to the party.

Your way IS different.

Have trust in that.

That is really all I’m saying.

James, I know I haven’t really covered this is great depth, but do you get the gist of it. It’s really very simple indeed. Just having the understanding that we don’t need to be always checking against what others are doing or have done. That we have our own unique elements to bring out.

James: Yes, I do get a sense of what you’re saying. Sort of, to express ourselves and not be afraid of doing that, because it may be different to what others may have done.

MAGNES JACK: Quite right. That’s very well put, “To not be afraid to express our unique selves.” Thank you very much James!