MAGNES JACK: Brian, is it possible to share your dream, or would you prefer to keep it private for now?

Brian: I’d prefer to keep it private if that’s ok.

MAGNES JACK: No, that’s fine. There are a couple of things to mention in this regard Brian.

Firstly, that our capacity to create is more often than not, limited by our unconscious beliefs in whether it is possible, or whether we are capable, and so on. So even before we sit down with a pen and paper to create, our hands are, to a large extent, tied behind our backs.

Now, it could be, that your dream is extremely complex to find an answer to. Or, you may have already decided that the answer needs to look a certain way, and you keep trying to force a solution into a certain box.

Brian: Actually, Magnes, that does ring true for me – although I’m loathed to admit it. But I have placed quite stringent demands on what kind of solution I want.

MAGNES JACK: Ok, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Creativity often thrives on constraint. The important point is to be aware of the constraints you are placing on the process. Effectively, you are laying out parameters and saying, “Ok, see what you can do within these constraints.” Then, you have a go, and see what comes of it. Based on that, you would shift your approach, and keep shifting, till you get a sniff of the track.

But going back to your original point, if it is taking years for you to manifest this dream and you haven’t made much progress, then that would suggest to me that you are setting yourself up to fail in some way.

Brian: Well, hmmmm. That’s got me thinking. It’s not a pleasant though, that’s for sure. Because I really want to make this thing. But I just haven’t been able to figure it out.

MAGNES JACK: Then, stop trying to figure it out and switch your approach. Perhaps explore your perceptions about the problem. Maybe the problem you see isn’t quite there. Some of the best creativity is about problem re-definition. Suddenly, in a whoosh of smoke, the problem disappears.

MAGNES JACK: Alternatively, scale down your expectations, and see if you can solve one aspect of it, rather than the whole thing. Expect to succeed, enjoy the process, and stay flexible.

Brian: Thank you Magnes. I feel a lot better about it already, and can definitely see that I have been placing constraints on how I want it to be. Constraints, that I can see, aren’t helping.

MAGNES JACK: Ok, Brian. I wish you well with it.

MAGNES JACK: Well, sure, but we had better check with Jim first.

Jim: [Nods]

MAGNES JACK: Ok Susan, Jim says that’s fine. So let’s cover the keys points in the process shall we.

First of all, Jim stated what? That he didn’t have a “specific dream” and that he had “struggled for years”.

What must be understood here is that a dream begins life as a feeling, which is then nurtured and strengthened.

And most people are not looking for a feeling; they are looking for an idea! Hence the struggle. They are looking hard, but in the wrong place.

So the first part of the process if not to get hooked onto looking for an idea, but to place the focus on the merest of feelings, perhaps even just a whisper of a feeling.

Next, Jim spoke about how he wanted a dream in which he could “…put his heart and soul into”. If you listen to people, they will tell you their dreams. So we have a good idea that part of Jim’s dream is involves putting his heart and soul into it. Notice too, that as he said that, he was already feeling it. He wasn’t saying it like it was a nice idea. He was speaking from the experience. Sure, it wasn’t fully-fledged, but the seed contains the means to bring forth the oak.

Jim, then wanted to get back to the “what” of the dream, but if you remember, I brought him back to the feeling of “heart and soul” and asked him whether he sensed he was doing this for himself, or others.

So, on the one hand, we are encouraging Jim to deepen and strengthen this feeling, and also to widen the perspective and to look at the broad purpose of it. To which Jim replied that it was primarily for others.

When it comes to dreams, a really good first port of call is to explore the benefits to others through pursuing your dream. Often, we get a little obsessed about dreams and what they mean for us, in terms of achievement and so on, and by looking at the beneficial effects on others, we shift the focus in a powerful way, which allows a slightly more detached and looser experience of the dream.

Then, as Jim got into this more, he became aware that he was doing this to make a difference in some way to a group of people. And what also came through was the teamwork involved.

So what Jim has pulled out there are the threads of the dream, the key elements.

In many ways, the content may or may not be that important. Whether Jim helps to raise the money to build a school in his home town, or flies to Africa to help rebuild a village, or something else, maybe less important to Jim, than the sheer act of playing that part in the development of something good!

In summary then, there is no particular ABC to this, but really a desire to find the starting point feeling and to explore that, without any pressure to come up with this or that idea. Just to let it organically grow of it’s own accord and find it’s own strength. Then, forms will emerge, in that Jim will become attracted to projects that resonate with his inner desire.

Does that help Susan?

Susan: Yes, thank you very much. Although I can still see, that exploring the feeling is very much a skill that needs practise and being open to what the person is saying without any pressure to solve it, as it were.

MAGNES JACK: That’s right. Because the dream is fragile to begin with, it does require a gentle and sensitive approach. It can be easily killed off by a heavy-handed approach, or early criticism, or demands for an answer.

Thanks Susan.

So, one of my reasons for coming along to meet you Magnes, was the hope that it might unlock some doors for me in this area, and that I might walk away with a dream in my pocket, one that I can really cherish and put my heart and soul into making it happen.

Just the thought of having something that I could put my heart and soul into gives me the chills, to be honest; I find it utterly thrilling, just the mere idea of it.

MAGNES JACK: And so you should! [Laughing] Because it is thrilling indeed.

Jim, that feeling you have, of putting your heart and soul into something. [Jim: Yes.] Do you see how that is an expression of your dream?

Jim: Well, it really feels important to me, but then I think what? What can I work on?

MAGNES JACK: Jim, when you have the sense of putting your heart and soul into something, who do you sense you are doing this for? For yourself primarily, or for others primarily?

Jim: For others, I would say. Although I am absolutely loving it too! So maybe a bit of both.

MAGNES JACK: And what is your sense of the kind of work this is? By kind of work, I don’t mean a specific this or that, but does it feel practical, for example?

Jim: That’s interesting, because it does feel practical, as opposed to say theoretical. I feel I’m getting my hands dirty on something.

MAGNES JACK: Do you mean like you’re building something?

Jim: Yes, but I don’t know what.

MAGNES JACK: Well, that’s not important right now, because this is about exploring our dreams, and to do that we begin with the feelings and explore them by sinking into those feelings and sensing what they are about.

So you are building, and you are enjoying the building.

Jim: Yes, it’s great.

MAGNES JACK: And you sensed that it was for others in some way.

Jim: Yes, it definitely feels like I’m doing this for the benefit of many people.

MAGNES JACK: Ah, many people!

Jim: Like a group of people who just need a leg up as it were. Actually, I can actually see some people in my mind. They are helping me build. We are part of a team. It’s difficult work, but when it is finished, the benefits will be fantastic.

MAGNES JACK: Jim, what I’m going to suggest is that you stay with your dream, and allow it to develop further, and during the day, that you jot down anything that comes to mind that resonates with your dream. Just jot things down. Ideas from right and left field, nothing forced, just ideas that are sparked by the lovely feelings you have.

Jim: Ok. Thank you. Gosh, I didn’t think it would be so quick. I really feel now that I have a handle on this in a way I never had.

MAGNES JACK: Wonderful. Thank you Jim, and do let us know as it progresses.

Jim: Will do!

I feel that I must be serious about it, and as you say, it soon gets heavy and then I start judging myself, and then I’m back at square one, but having fun seems to involve a total flip of that approach.

To actually see life as something to enjoy, and that we are allowed to enjoy – not be perfect or right or cleverer than anyone else – just to enjoy and grow and learn.

I know it sounds simple to me even saying it, but it’ll probably be a lifetime learning how to put this into practice.

MAGNES JACK: Well, James. You certainly got a lot from yesterday, which is great. You are right in that it is the journey of a lifetime, everyday, every moment, brings something new to savour.

Thank you James.

James: [Nods]

MAGNES JACK: Ok, who would like to talk about their dreams?

MAGNES JACK: Good morning! What a beautiful day today. A lovely day for dreams.

Can I just say that one of my dreams for you is that you will allow yourself a little more fun today! Yesterday was so serious, and I’m hoping that the fun ripple might spread a little further and deeper today.

I know there are quite a few of you who will take some time before you can allow yourself some fun. But did you ever wonder why?
Who knows – maybe you would enjoy challenging these underlying presuppositions that are shaping your world, and play with what could be?

Did you ever play that game as kids when you built up a pyramid of cards. So much fun wasn’t it. Never knowing quite when the cards would come tumbling down. That tension – with every card. Very exciting!

Ok. So today, we are in the land of dreams. That is bringing dreams from the place of feeling through into the physical world.

It’s also worth bearing in mind that often, someone doesn’t have a clear sense of what dreams they would like to bring through, and they would like to be clearer about that.

Then, there are those who know precisely what they want to do, but fear keeps them from taking those steps into new territory.

Also, there are those who also have a sense of a dream, but believe themselves to be not up to the challenge in one way or another.

You could say, one needs clarity, one needs courage, and one needs belief.

Well, let’s see where we get to today, because my intention is to show that we can really move forward and bring dreams into being, big dreams, and have some fun in the process!

We are going to trump fear with excitement!

Deal? [Smiles]

Ok. Let’s begin.

Joe: It’s been a great day Magnes, thank you. I wonder if you could sum up what would be the essence of your approach? It seems to me that there are lots of elements and sometimes it seems very simple, and then at other times, I’ve thought, “Wait a minute! There’s more to this than meets the eye.”

MAGNES JACK: Thanks Joe. Well, it’s been said already but the very simplicity of an approach is what makes it seemingly invisible to our radar. We have learned to think that simple is not enough, that complexity is where the intelligence is.

This is one of the basic flaws in that needs addressing. To savour the simplicity.

Joe, I’m all for enjoying life, and yet I know that life is challenging, by it’s very dynamic nature. So, my approach is to enjoy the challenge of life; by seeing that my particular version of events in – by definition – self-limiting, and so to take that with a pinch of salt, and a smile, and to explore new possibilities and new experiences.

But I also know, that human nature is such that we are often brought back to our default view, as if, by gravitational force; and so we require a formal structure to remind ourselves to consider where we are at, and where we might go next.

You see, we need the stimulation of new experience. This can come externally, by doing new things etc, but essentially, it is driven intentionally, by our desire to try new things, to challenge our own views, our approach to relationships, our view of ourselves, the extent of the vista of possibilities that lies ahead of us.

For example, when I said that you are all remarkable people, how many accepted that as a possibility, and how many brushed it off?

It’s interesting to explore.

When we are brushing our magic under the carpet, is it any wonder we want to watch TV all day. [Laughing]

Joe, does that answer your question?

Joe: Yes, Magnes. Thanks. And have a great evening!

MAGNES JACK: Well, I shall endeavour to do just that.

May I thank you all for your participation today. Also, those of you who have chosen to do specific projects this evening, have fun with them, and we look forward to hearing from you at some time tomorrow. No pressure there. [Laughing]

And remember that tomorrow, we want to look at your dreams and what you want to bring into the world. So please bring them with you tomorrow, and any questions you may have around that.

Have a lovely evening, and we’ll see you again tomorrow morning, bright-eyed and bushy tailed.

Thank you.

Audience: [General applause]

Alan: Yes! [MAGNES JACK: Great.] It’s about fear. I know we’re talked about fear earlier on, but I find that I just feel a tremendous resistance to doing what I need to, almost a refusal. Which is bizarre because I really want to do well, but if I look back at the results I’m getting, they are just not there, and I can see that I am just pulling back on so many fronts – it does my head in!

As you say, we are remarkable, but tapping that potential I am finding so tremendously difficult. It’s like my demons have more up their sleeve than I do. I can’t seem to outwit them.

For example, I have trained to do hypnotherapy, and want to start up my own business, but I am terrified, and I take steps but I just know they are tentative steps because of the fear.

Ideally, I would just like to rid of the fear!

MAGNES JACK: Alan, good to meet you. Yes, if fear would just go away, then think what we could do.

I could dress this up in lots of ways, but here are the facts of the matter, fear will always be there, so rather than wish fear away, put your focus on how you can move your dream forward with fear as your challenge.

Tomorrow, we’ll be looking a lot at dreams, so this is an excellent example to start to think about fear.

How can we best approach this?

Well, we need to be clear what we are dealing with. Then, we need a structure in place, so that every single day, we can meet this actively meet this challenge and grow from it. Finally, we need a consistent approach to handling fear.

So, to sum up:

1. Enough Clarity
2. Formal Structure and,
3. Fun and Exciting Approach.

By enough clarity, I mean that we can get too obsessed by knowing everything before we act on it. Clarity can become an excuse for inaction. So we need enough to know what we are facing, and then our actions will give us the experiences we need to gain further clarity and learning.

The structure is important, because it’s very easy to leave it a day, and then a week – but if we really want to do this, then a strong, almost formal structure is tremendously supporting in keeping us on track. Clearly, the simpler this is to follow, the better. Any complexity, just provide more food for rationalising inaction.

The journal is the simplest and most powerful structure I know of, and would heartily recommend.

Finally, the approach we take will determine to some extent our desire to act. Because if it feels difficult and horrible to do, we probably won’t! So we need to make it fun and exciting. The more exciting the better!

So, Alan, do you want to briefly walk through this?

Alan: Yes, love to!

MAGNES JACK: Ok. Well let’s begin with having enough clarity.

Are you clear what it is that has stopped you setting your business up?

Alan: To be honest, I’m afraid that I won’t be good enough, and perhaps I don’t want to be found out!

MAGNES JACK: Ok. Let’s put this in the context of your clients. So, if you first client comes along and you are unable to help them in some way, will that not be good enough? Will you just shut up shop?

Alan: [Laughing] I don’t suppose I can expect to be brilliant right from the off. I suppose I’ll just have to do my best and see what happens.

MAGNES JACK: Ok. So you’re fairly clear that it’s a fear of not being good enough and being found out.

Alan: Yes.

MAGNES JACK: So does that feel like you have enough clarity to decide how to move forward with this?

Alan: Yes. I mean I don’t know what at the moment, but at least I know where I’m at. Of course, I wish it were different. I wish I was as confident as others on the course who just seem to sail into business. But, I guess, I’m not.

MAGNES JACK: “You guess you’re not?” Are you unsure now? Alan, can you see how already you are backing away a little from saying, “Yes, I have enough clarity to move forward.” Now, I’m not saying this to have a go, because I have been in the same place a thousand times. I just wanted to make sure you could see it.

Alan: Yes, I do. It’s not pretty is it? Almost a reflex action!

MAGNES JACK: That’s exactly it – a reflex action.

Let’s move on to formal structure. All I can say on this Alan, is that for you to put this in place, so that every day, you have an opportunity to move forward with this. Will you do that?

Alan: [Nods] Yes.

MAGNES JACK: Great. So tomorrow morning, visit this again; and the day after. Just as a matter of course. It’s just part of your day.

Last but not least, let’s look at the approach, which I’m saying helps if it’s fun and exciting too!

So, Alan, in the context of your business, your job is to set up some really fun and exciting business targets for next week; these targets should be so exciting as to give the fear a run for it’s money! You with me?

Alan: Ah, I see. Yes. Something that will really energise me!

MAGNES JACK: Sure. Get the juices going. Life is energy after all.

Do you have something in mind?

Alan: Well, I could start to look for premises. That’s one thing I’ve been putting off.

MAGNES JACK: Great. Is that exciting?

Alan: So, so. [Laughing]

MAGNES JACK: Whose winning – fear or fun?

Alan: Fear at the moment.

MAGNES JACK: Ok, so how can you make this even more fun?

Alan: What just came to me is how great it will be to actually go and visit these premises – to visualise what my practise will be like – now that is exciting!

MAGNES JACK: Great! So the fun is winning now.

Alan: Oh, yes! Hey, I get it!

MAGNES JACK: [Laughing] Well, hopefully you will take some more with you!!!

Alan: No, seriously. That’s fantastic. I really feel like I know what I need to do now. The penny’s dropped!

MAGNES JACK: Terrific. Well, have fun!

Alan: Oh, I will.

MAGNES JACK: Ok. Fire away.

Janet: Well. It’s like this. I’m in a well-paid job right now, but it’s not what I want to do, and although I’m good at it, I now realise that. I have found a job that is more akin to what I want, but the money is like half, so it’s means taking a substantial drop. Basically, I am stuck and don’t know how to even evaluate it.

MAGNES JACK: Is it really so hard?

Janet: Not sure what do you mean?

MAGNES JACK: You are seeing two options: stay in your current job and earn good money or leave and enjoy your job but drop your income to half. True? [Janet: Yes] And you would like me to advise in some way? [Janet: Yes] But Janet, I cannot, because this is your decision to make.

All I will say is that there are rarely only two options available. Maybe we stop looking after two! Maybe two is enough.

Also, you are looking at this comparison as if both options were going to last forever. Nothing does, so appreciate that your decision, whatever it is, is probably short-term. Particularly, in these times.

Something else to consider is what is it that you are to get from this new job, that isn’t in your current one? And is this something you can bring in to your current job? Or perhaps you can explore this new aspect some other way, perhaps phase it in?

Then again, you might just decide that you can cope with the drop in salary, and that it will be a welcome incentive to learn to have fun with less.

Janet, there are no easy answers in life; we just make our decision and accept the consequences.
Janet: I thought that perhaps you would suggest looking at what I valued in life, and evaluating the jobs in those terms.

MAGNES JACK: And have you done that?

Janet: Not yet, no.

MAGNES JACK: Janet, you feel a desire for change, and yet that change has consequences. To that extent, you are in the same boat as we are all in. But get creative, because there are many more possibilities out there for sure.

Janet: Ok. Thanks.

MAGNES JACK: No problem. Can I just say here that I know many people come to seminars like this to find answers to certain difficulties in their life and that is fine, but I certainly cannot nor will I make anyone’s decisions for them.

You are all quite remarkable people. You know that I hope.

And as such, there is very little, if anything beyond your capability.

In general, we only are willing to see a small part of our capability, and the rest lies dormant, and I would call on that to waken up, and for you to begin to sense and appreciate your capacity for change and for action. You are truly remarkable people.

Never forget that.

MAGNES JACK: I don’t follow you. Why do you want to sustain having fun?

Barry: Isn’t that the point?

MAGNES JACK: No. The point is to grow and enjoy life. How can we grow if we remain fixed in the way we see ourselves? Well, we can’t. But yet to change, we need to shift how we see ourselves and thereby see new possibilities. But that is difficult. Change is difficult. It’s an effort. Now, just because something is an effort, doesn’t mean it can’t be fun! But that’s how we tend to think. So, all I’m saying here is that we inject some fun into the proceedings, so we can be more fluid, see more new possibilities, act on them, experience new things, learn and grow – and enjoy life!!!

But if we are trying to sustain anything, fun or depressing, it all gets a bit heavy and serious. And we want to bring in more light and fun. This is not to say that life is not desperately sad at times, because it is. We are not removing any ingredient from life. It is all they to be enjoyed. It is merely our approach to life, and ourselves, that we are exploring here.

Does that help in any way Barry?

Barry: I think I was getting a bit hooked onto the fun thing. [Laughing]

MAGNES JACK: Well, Barry, there are worse things to be hooked on!

MAGNES JACK: I was wondering when someone would notice that.

James: Well, I know you mentioned, “Feel the fear and do it anyway”, and this theme has a very different emphasis. Could you say a little about this please?

MAGNES JACK: Sure James – thank you for the question. But let’s open this up first. What do you suppose is meant by “do it your way?”

Mary: Well, what comes to mind is that who else’s way could it be?

MAGNES JACK: That is technically true. We are doing it ourselves, but is it our way?

Mary: Hmmm. I see what you mean. I suppose I might think it’s my way, but actually I’m following some proscribed way, perhaps deferring to what others think I should do.

MAGNES JACK: Well, that is certainly true for a lot of people. We believe we are doing our own thing, but actually, we get to sixty before we realise that our whole life has been spent trying to please our father, or something like that.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

Geoff: Are you saying that we must be careful not to ignore our own instincts in this?

MAGNES JACK: That’s important too. To listen to our feelings on the matter, for sure.

There are different aspects to this, but the one I want to focus on is that there is no rulebook that says you must do it this way or that. We are often paralysed by the thought of what other people will think, or what did other people do.

And, of course, we can learn from others, but we are each our own unique and funny creature. Each of us is different and brings something quite specific to the party.

Your way IS different.

Have trust in that.

That is really all I’m saying.

James, I know I haven’t really covered this is great depth, but do you get the gist of it. It’s really very simple indeed. Just having the understanding that we don’t need to be always checking against what others are doing or have done. That we have our own unique elements to bring out.

James: Yes, I do get a sense of what you’re saying. Sort of, to express ourselves and not be afraid of doing that, because it may be different to what others may have done.

MAGNES JACK: Quite right. That’s very well put, “To not be afraid to express our unique selves.” Thank you very much James!