DAY ONE: MORNING (II) – Brian

“HOPE YOU HAD A NICE BREAK. This session will take us up to lunchtime, so enjoy every minute. May I welcome back to the stage, MAGNES JACK.”

MAGNES JACK: Ok. Now you’re all hazy with tea and coffee and cakes, this should be a most left-field session. Who wants to start? And remember the theme – “Feel the fun and do it your way!”

Brian: So far, all I have got of any practical use is about framing things for fun. Is that it?

MAGNES JACK: Well, before we do anything else, have you mastered that?

Brian: Sure. Framing is easy. I frame things for fun all the time.

MAGNES JACK: Great. So what are you doing here?

Brian: I was hoping for more.

MAGNES JACK: More what?

Brian: More ways to change, quicker ways to change.

MAGNES JACK: Brian, are you saying you are running out of tools or that the tools you have are not enough?

Brian: I suppose I want more tools. The one’s I have work, and they are “Ok!” but…

MAGNES JACK: But what…?

Brian: I want more.

MAGNES JACK: We’re in danger of looping the loop here. [Smiling] Ok, Brian, if you had more, how might you know you had it? Would you be feeling different, acting different, doing amazing new things, would other people be different around you? Would you share with us your inklings on this?

Brian: I suppose I would have a great deal more energy for life. I mean, don’t get me wrong, things are fine, but I just feel there is more, and that is the word that keeps doing the rounds for me.

MAGNES JACK: Ok. I’m with you. You want more and one of the characteristics of this is that you would feel more “energy for life”, as you put it, compared with now.

Brian: Yes, basically.

MAGNES JACK: Brian, did it ever occur to you that you could simply have more “energy for life” without waiting for a new tool, or technique. That you already have this 100% within you.

Brian: If I’m honest, yes, I can feel it, but getting it out?

MAGNES JACK: Brian, thank you for being so honest, because once again, just as earlier, you have provided us with a beautiful example of wanting to experience X, but believing that Y must be in place first, and that without Y, X is impossible. And in this virtual world, such a construction does indeed make X impossible. We make SELF-STOPPING RULES like this all the time.

SELF-STOPPING RULES
Quite simply, self-stopping rules are constructions that we follow to not get what we want or need. Bizarre, but true. They are very effective indeed, and if not addressed, can last not only a lifetime, but can be passed on to succeeding generations.

MAGNES JACK: I am fortunate Brian, in that I can see you in a way that you can’t possibly see yourself. I see someone who longs out to feel more “energy for life”, and who can already feel the glimmers, the seeds, of what that might be like. The seeds are there Brian. And they are waiting patiently. But you are afraid.

Only last week, I was watching the Olympics and they were interviewing a pentathlon athlete and asking her how she prepared mentally. She said something very interesting in this regard. She said that she always saw herself making the perfect performance. She saw herself doing the very best she could in each discipline. The presenter asked her why, and she said that in this way she wouldn’t be surprised when she did brilliantly, and it wouldn’t affect the next discipline.

Can you see Brian, how you are framing this desire of yours?

Brian: Not really, if I’m honest.

MAGNES JACK: Anyone else like to comment on the framing?

Stephen: Hi. Is it that Brian is making feeling “energy for life” a really difficult, almost impossible task, which is only accessible via some almost magical tool?

MAGNES JACK: Very good! And what does that imply? That he needs this magical tool?

Stephen: That he somehow doesn’t already have it within him?

MAGNES JACK: Absolutely! Yes. And if he doesn’t have it within him, then it’s always going to be a struggle isn’t it. It is almost a foreign body as it were.

Brian, does this help in some way?

Brian: A little. The cogs are moving. [Smiling] So are you saying that I haven’t really accepted that I already have this within me?

MAGNES JACK: Well, yes, that’s one aspect. But then, what is stopping you from seeing this beautiful capacity just waiting to be given the nod?

Brian: Nothing really.

MAGNES JACK: Well, perhaps. But would you be willing to have some fun finding out?

Brian: I most certainly would!

MAGNES JACK: Ok. Your project then, for the rest of the day, is to allow your natural energy for life to spring through, and as you do so, to have some fun learning how to shape and manage that in your interactions and as you go about life. Deal?

Brian: Deal!

MAGNES JACK: Great. Let us know how you get on won’t you.

Brian: I most certainly shall. [Beaming]

DAY ONE: MORNING (I) – Jenny

MAGNES JACK: Anyone want to have some fun changing?

[General smiles and nods]

Jenny: Magnes, I would.

MAGNES JACK: Great! Tell me more.

Jenny: Well, I’m in a job at the moment, it’s a great job, and I’m very good at it, and now I know it’s not what I want to do.

MAGNES JACK: Ok. And?

Jenny: What I want to do is much less money, though a lot more fun!

MAGNES JACK: And are you sure about that?

Jenny: What, the money side?

MAGNES JACK: Yes.

Jenny: Pretty much. Because it’s the charity sector I want to go into. And they all tend to be pretty strapped for cash.

MAGNES JACK: But they are rich in other ways?

Jenny: Yes. That is why I want to do it. I’ve had a taste of it on volunteering basis and loved it so much, that now I just want to launch myself into it.

MAGNES JACK: Jenny, that’s great! But you know what, sometimes we need to look at how we are framing things, because in our desire to jump ahead, we often delete a great many possibilities.

For example, you have said that the money being paid to officials in charities is low. That maybe true for some, but not all. If you can triple the income of a charity, then I’m sure you would be amply rewarded. Now you may choose to give some of your income to another charity that is up to you. Or you may see that having some comfort allows you to be even more productive in your work for the charity.

There is a distinction between “charity work” and “working for a charity”.

Jenny: I see what you’re saying. That I’ve already narrowed down my options, and then trying to make a decision based on narrowed options.

MAGNES JACK: Exactly. And narrowed options, particularly not very nice ones, are not much fun! [Smiling] I call this FLUID-FRAMING.

FLUID-FRAMING
When we think about change, whether we know it or not, we stick frames on it which include some things and exclude others. This is part of what makes change such a struggle; because the journey defined by these narrow frames are often a little oppressive. With Fluid-Framing we stand right back and open up the field as it were, and play with frames that lead to more fun possibilities.

For example, whilst working for a charity, you might also do some freelance work in the business world. Not only would this keep you up to date, but also might provide some crossover e.g. sponsorship, into the charity world.

Jenny: That’s a very good point. I think I have gotten so focussed on it having to be this way or that, that it’s become quite stressful. Because to follow this path, would mean giving up a whole lot, that I’m not sure I want to.

MAGNES JACK: Sure. It’s very common. We all do it. May I suggest then that you have a think about this, and look at designing some paths that have a lot more fluidity and possibility in them, and who knows, maybe more phased, in that you don’t move all at once from here to there, but in phases. Having said that, once you have gone through this exercise, you might just decide, “You know what, let’s just do it.”

Jenny: Thank you. That really helps. I shall let you know how it develops! [Smiling]

MAGNES JACK: Ah, it’s so good to see some smiles on faces.