DAY ONE: MORNING (II) – Craig

Craig: Magnes, hello. [MAGNES JACK: Hello Craig.] I’ve really enjoyed this morning, and can certainly feel things loosening up for me. [MAGNES JACK: Nods]. So what I want to ask is about self-esteem. Why is this such a difficult nut to crack?

MAGNES JACK: Well Craig, would you be able to share with us your experiences with this?

Craig: Sure. Without going into all the gruesome details, I think it started at school with being bullied and so on. I don’t know, it just seems that I got it into my head that I’m no good, or something. I just don’t feel like I deserve anything, or anyone. Sort of closed off somehow. I see other people and I would just love to be like them, they seem to really enjoy life, and it’s like another planet to me; a planet that I just cannot reach, no matter how hard I try.

MAGNES JACK: Craig, thank you for that. It’s helps a great deal. Craig, I would imagine that you would just like to flick a switch and have the esteem for yourself that you’ve always yearned for.

Craig: That would be good! [Smiling]

MAGNES JACK: It would. These days, we tend to want short cuts, for everything. Learn a language in 5 minutes a day! We want the result and we want it now. Can you imagine if a flower did that? From seed to bloom – BOOM! Then, as quick as a flash, from bloom to frazzled – BOOM!

We really need to slow down to speed up. When you think about anything that you have done in your life, you will find that it began in a small and simple way.

It might have been a decision, or an action; maybe you saw something that inspired you?

That seed contained within it the potential for the ensuing journey.

That never ceases to amaze me. Or as Neils Bohr put it, the seed was the aperture through which nature formed the tree; the seed was the patterning device as it were.

Now, how does all this fit with self-esteem?

Well, like this. Self-esteem starts very quietly indeed. What you do, is you take some aspect of yourself that you like, and you cherish it, you enjoy it, you treasure it, take pleasure in it.

The good feeling you get from this begin to spread.

Soon you notice other aspects you like too, and you take pleasure in those.

With patience, and no small amount of fun, you nurture within yourself a real genuine love for yourself, the things you like and the things you don’t like.

Even the fact that you are not perfect, you learn to like. You might even learn to like being a little shy, because that doesn’t stop you having fun discovering what it’s like to be a little bold!

Craig, is this helping in some way?

Craig: Yes, it is. Though I think it will be tough to find anything that I like about me right now.

MAGNES JACK: What about your courage to speak in a seminar?

Craig: [Smiles] Well, yes, ok, I suppose I could start there.

MAGNES JACK: Why not start there, and don’t stop.

Craig, just make a start, and enjoy the process of finding out, and learning to experience the enjoyment of your own company.

Will you let us know how you get on?

Craig: I shall indeed.

MAGNES JACK: Thank you! Have fun.

Marianne: Magnes, may I come in here?

MAGNES JACK: Sure, Marianne.

Marianne: That was a good example. Because self-esteem is such a complex problem, and one that is fiendishly difficult to get sustainable results with. Do you honestly think that Craig will now find the self-esteem he is looking for?

MAGNES JACK: Well, let’s ask Craig shall we.

Craig, would you mind giving us your sense of where you are at right now with this and please do share you feelings about it.

Craig: I feel a little funny right now. Because for some curious reason, I do feel good about myself right now. Will that last? I don’t really know. But I am willing to give it a go, and I like the notion of doing this a piece at a time. I had been a bit freaked by it, but I realise that that is a bit of an over-reaction really.

MAGNES JACK: Ok, thank you Craig.

Marianne, does that answer your question at all?

Marianne: In a way. I suppose I’m looking for evidence of real results.

MAGNES JACK: Real or instant? [Smiling]

Marianne: Well, real, but I take your point.

MAGNES JACK: C’mon Marianne, take a break and smell the coffee; the real coffee, that takes time to prepare, make and savour. Not that instant stuff that tastes of plastic. Ok, thank you.