DAY TWO: MORNING (I) – Jim

Jim: Magnes, I don’t have a specific dream, but this is my question, because I have struggled for years with this. In the self-help world, it’s fairly relentless – have a dream, live your dream – and when you don’t have one, it’s really frustrating!

So, one of my reasons for coming along to meet you Magnes, was the hope that it might unlock some doors for me in this area, and that I might walk away with a dream in my pocket, one that I can really cherish and put my heart and soul into making it happen.

Just the thought of having something that I could put my heart and soul into gives me the chills, to be honest; I find it utterly thrilling, just the mere idea of it.

MAGNES JACK: And so you should! [Laughing] Because it is thrilling indeed.

Jim, that feeling you have, of putting your heart and soul into something. [Jim: Yes.] Do you see how that is an expression of your dream?

Jim: Well, it really feels important to me, but then I think what? What can I work on?

MAGNES JACK: Jim, when you have the sense of putting your heart and soul into something, who do you sense you are doing this for? For yourself primarily, or for others primarily?

Jim: For others, I would say. Although I am absolutely loving it too! So maybe a bit of both.

MAGNES JACK: And what is your sense of the kind of work this is? By kind of work, I don’t mean a specific this or that, but does it feel practical, for example?

Jim: That’s interesting, because it does feel practical, as opposed to say theoretical. I feel I’m getting my hands dirty on something.

MAGNES JACK: Do you mean like you’re building something?

Jim: Yes, but I don’t know what.

MAGNES JACK: Well, that’s not important right now, because this is about exploring our dreams, and to do that we begin with the feelings and explore them by sinking into those feelings and sensing what they are about.

So you are building, and you are enjoying the building.

Jim: Yes, it’s great.

MAGNES JACK: And you sensed that it was for others in some way.

Jim: Yes, it definitely feels like I’m doing this for the benefit of many people.

MAGNES JACK: Ah, many people!

Jim: Like a group of people who just need a leg up as it were. Actually, I can actually see some people in my mind. They are helping me build. We are part of a team. It’s difficult work, but when it is finished, the benefits will be fantastic.

MAGNES JACK: Jim, what I’m going to suggest is that you stay with your dream, and allow it to develop further, and during the day, that you jot down anything that comes to mind that resonates with your dream. Just jot things down. Ideas from right and left field, nothing forced, just ideas that are sparked by the lovely feelings you have.

Jim: Ok. Thank you. Gosh, I didn’t think it would be so quick. I really feel now that I have a handle on this in a way I never had.

MAGNES JACK: Wonderful. Thank you Jim, and do let us know as it progresses.

Jim: Will do!

DAY ONE: MORNING (II) – Karen

Karen: Could I ask a question about struggle? [MAGNES JACK: Sure.] Ok. Well, earlier you talked about how most people find change a struggle and that is certainly my experience, but how does fun fit in with this?

MAGNES JACK: Thanks Karen. Would you have an example you could share?

Karen: Well, for example, I have wanted to run my own coaching business for years now, and I feel I am really good at what I do, but my business never seems to get anywhere, and I do all the things you’re supposed to do but it just never happens. And I struggle to see what it is I am supposed to do.

MAGNES JACK: Well, in respect of a business, things are quite simple when you get down to it – if no one if buying your product, then you need to look at the product and who you want to sell it to. It really is that simple. And if you find that your product meets a certain need, then you need to bring that product to those people with that need. I mean, you probably know all this, so perhaps this is not what you are struggling with.

Karen: Actually, yes, I do know that, but I wonder sometimes whether I am kidding myself that I am doing the right things, when actually I’m not. For example, my contact list if really small, and so is it any wonder that I don’t get many bites as it were.

MAGNES JACK: Ah, ok. Well, let’s stand back a little bit and look at the approach. How would you characterise your approach to growing your business?

Karen; A bit scattergun! [Laughs]

MAGNES JACK: Right, great; so that is something you would like to change. To make more effective.

Karen: Yes.

MAGNES JACK: Ok. Now, you are an intelligent lady, and I am wondering how you manage to stop yourself from being the inevitable success waiting to happen, that you are?

Karen: Me, too!

MAGNES JACK: Do you have any clues?

Karen: I think I’m stubborn and basically, want it all on a plate somehow.

MAGNES JACK: Ok. That’s fine. Now, we’ve been looking at having some fun with life. Yes? And fun is extremely underestimated. Particularly, in business. So, if you could have a lot of fun growing your business, would that be of interest to you?

Karen: Oh, absolutely!

MAGNES JACK: Well, then, that’s just fine, because you know that growing your business will mean that you will be getting “out there” – as it were – and putting your message out, and talking to people, media and so on, which can all be scary, and some things will work, and other things will be a disaster [laughs] – and my point is that we either have some fun with this, or we get very serious and heavy about it.

My suggestion is that you learn about having fun by, for example:

1. Setting some fun targets for growing your business.
2. Taking some fun risks.
3. Framing phone calls and email in a fun way so that you can enjoy them whatever happens.
4. Seeing the funny side when things don’t go to plan.
5. Having fun being creative and hugely productive – write a book in a day!

You see where I’m coming from?

Karen: Yes, very much so. In fact, listening to you I can see how I’ve got into some serious ruts about this and ended up fretting too much on my message and not really daring to get out there.

MAGNES JACK: That’s right and daring is such fun too!

Now you mentioned struggle, and I’d like to share with you a little story. It’s not mind shattering or incredible or something you will want to tell everyone, it’s a very quiet story, but for me, it says everything about the human capacity for change.

There is a man in my village. He’s a nice guy, perhaps in his early sixties. Has worked all his life. He has a lovely family and grandchildren. This man was a regular down the pub. He smoked and drank and was just a lovely old pub character.

Then, out of the blue, he had a heart attack. The doctor said to him, “You cannot go on like this if you want to live.” Simple as that. Now apart from the odd game of golf, exercise was not at the forefront of this man’s head, believe me.

But what he did, he bought a bike, a mountain bike. And he set his mind to ride this bike every single day. Clearly, this man dearly loved his family and didn’t want to miss being with them. So he began.

He just began.

And I love the simplicity of that. He began. And there was a force behind that beginning.

He began and at the start he wasn’t very good and couldn’t go very far. His technique was far from elegant and he looked like the last person you would see on a bike.

That was 10 years ago, and yesterday, he cycled by the window on his mountain bike, with his helmet and bright outfit to be seen, and he looks perfectly at home on that bike, and this was 7.30am and he was on his way back from a ride along the valley.

What I find inspiring about this story is that he just began, in a quiet way, and each day, set out to get a little better, and a little better.

And to look on his face, he enjoys every minute.

Now, this might have something to say to you about your business – only you know that – so there it is.

Karen: Thank you, I get it.

MAGNES JACK: Good. So we expect great things from you Karen in the coming months, having fun, little by little.

Karen: I hope so.

MAGNES JACK: Just don’t allow the heaviness to creep back. If it does, give yourself a shake and get back to daring.

Karen: [Laughing] I shall!

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“Ok, everyone! Thank you for your attention this morning. It’s time for lunch, so have a great lunchtime, and we’ll be back at 2pm.”

DAY ONE: MORNING (I) – Pippa

Pippa: Hi Magnes.  {MAGNES JACK: Hello Pippa]  I am intrigued by this notion of having fun changing, because I’ll tell you for why.  All my life I have struggled like hell to move forward.  Changing myself has been like running through treacle, and that was when it was working!  [Laughing]  And yet despite all of this, and the many changes I have made, I still feel, in my heart of hearts, that something isn’t shifting at all.  It’s like a solid thunk, just there.  And I would truly love to make some inroads into that.  Can you help at all?

MAGNES JACK: Well, Pippa, I can certainly give you some pointers, but you must have all the fun doing the work.  [Smiles]  Deal?

Pippa: Deal!

MAGNES JACK: Ok.  It’s like this: none of really wants to change.  Not really.  I mean, sure, we’ll do some window dressing, we’ll climb Everest and be the top salesperson in our company, and then we sit on the toilet one day and realise that we haven’t really moved at all.

So what do we do?  Well, this “solid thunk” down there is one such expression of ourselves that would really rather not change, thank you very much.

And what we do is with the utmost respect, we work with that expression and include it, we welcome it, metaphorically, and we put our arms around it.

You see there are many different technologies today that would like to blast this “solid thunk” away, reduce it, chop it up and basically do away with it.  This is only so much disrespect.

What you are calling a “solid thunk” is an important expression of who you are and the mere fact that it is within your awareness means that it is there to be worked with and transmuted into something good and useful.  Because nothing is good or bad per se, just more or less useful with respect to some purpose.

Pippa: So how do I work with it?

MAGNES JACK: You get to know it.  There is knowledge in there you see.  Knowledge, which at the moment, is condensed.  And your job is to pour some “water” on it, to soften it and let it reveal itself.  Sometimes it will do so in words, or sounds, sometimes in images, but more often in feelings that you won’t be able to put words to, and neither should you try.   You will just know.  That is enough.

Pippa:   Do I sit with it then?

MAGNES JACK: Yes, just find some quiet time and sit and be with it, maybe for 10, 15, 20 minutes.  Go with what feels right.  The main point is to include it within your experience.  Bring it in.  At the moment, it may be feeling that it is somewhat excluded.  Perhaps, thus far, your relationship with it has been one of un-friendly cousin.  [Smiling]  And now, it can be like a re-union, a getting to know each other, a welcoming back into the family if you will.

Spend some time with that and let me know how you get on.

Pippa: Ok, thank you I will.

MAGNES JACK: It’s a pleasure.